ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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