ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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