ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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