ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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