ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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