ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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