ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
There's someone out there for everyone.
Yours married someone else in 2019. They look happy.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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