ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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