ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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