ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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