ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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