ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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