ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen.
It will still be on that wall long after your name is off the door.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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