ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings.
It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing, and lost the person who asked how you were.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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