ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 5 JANUARY 2005
Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house.
Nothing will. Have the coffee.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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