ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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