ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 20 JANUARY 2006
Teamwork makes the dream work.
It also means six people are ready to blame you. In writing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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