ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 20 APRIL 2006
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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