ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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