ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Kids grow up so fast.
Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and you age a decade.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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