ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment".
It took you three days to reply "thanks".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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