ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 24 JUNE 2006
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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