ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You received 40 fundraising texts today.
Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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