ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your thirties are your twenties with consequences.
The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports straight to your liver.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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