ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought.
It renews automatically. So does the guilt.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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