ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 19 FEBRUARY 2007
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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