ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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