ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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