ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English.
It will be only Monday every week for the rest of your working life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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