ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you're "so busy" this week.
Your screen time says eleven hours a day. Busy is one word for it. Scrolling is the other.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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