ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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