ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your banking app pauses slightly before opening.
It's deciding how to tell you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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