ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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