ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got the ick because they ran for a bus.
You've been single three years and you run for nothing. Including opportunities.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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