ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Make your money work for you.
Yours quit in 2019. It works for your landlord now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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