ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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