ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something.
You do that at work for free.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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