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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION MONDAY, 7 OCTOBER 2013
A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway.
Written down first, so the guilt has paperwork.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
  2. You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
  3. You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
  4. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
  5. You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
  6. You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
  7. Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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