ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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