ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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