ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life.
Someone will close them after the funeral. Unread.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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