ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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