ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 1 FEBRUARY 2014
Scale your business.
Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one candle out of pity.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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