ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Some people run marathons.
You run late, and you still come last.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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