ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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