ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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