ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Parenthood is a long journey
from "mama" to "can you send money" to them choosing your care home.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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