ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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