ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You can do anything you set your mind to.
Your mind has set itself to lying down. Permanently. With snacks.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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