ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been quiet".
You weren't. You were just talking to nobody.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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